70+ Best Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes Ever

Arnold Schwarzenegger is not only an iconic action movie star and bodybuilder but also a renowned figure in the comedy world. His larger-than-life persona, thick Austrian accent, and deadpan delivery have made him the subject of countless jokes and parodies. In this article, we will dive into the world of Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes, exploring his comedic profile, showcasing hilarious one-liners, funny jokes, and entertaining stories. Brace yourself for a rib-tickling journey into the world of the “Austrian Oak”!

Meet Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Comedic Funny Profile

“The Governator” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, with a career spanning over five decades, has become synonymous with the action genre. However, beyond his action hero roles, he has successfully shown his comedic side in various movies such as “Twins” and “Kindergarten Cop.” Schwarzenegger’s ability to juxtapose his imposing physique with comedic timing and expressions is what makes him truly unique.

One-Liners Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes For Instagram

  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger start hitting the gym? Because he wanted to work on his pun-chlines!
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger walked into a vegetarian restaurant and said, “Give me two steaks.”
  • What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he wants to lose weight? “Hasta la vista, baby fat!”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger become an electrician? He wanted to terminate power outages!
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s favorite workout? The “running man” for governor.
  • Did you hear about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new clothing line? It’s called “Pump Fiction.”
  • When Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a mistake while acting, he calls it an “Expendablunder.”
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a spider in his gym? “Get to the chopper!”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s favorite type of music? Heavy Met-al.
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger take up gardening? He wanted to become a “Planterminator.”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s secret talent? Doing “Impressions Day After Day.”
  • What did Schwarzenegger say to the naughty dumbbell? “You’ve been a bad weight!”
  • Why does Arnold Schwarzenegger prefer Windows over Mac? Because he likes to “Terminate” programs.
  • When Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a baker, his signature dish will be the “Austrian Crépe.”
  • Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new podcast? It’s called “Pumping Iron-y.”
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his shoes? “Get to da sneakers!”
  • Why did Schwarzenegger open a bakery? To make sure people get their “dough” for the day.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s favorite breakfast cereal? Special K-9!
  • How did Arnold Schwarzenegger stop his sneezes? He said, “Ahhh… chew!”
Good Jokes About Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny Jokes About Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger start working at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger go to space? He wanted to explore “Total Recall”!
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his blender broke down? “Hasta la vista, baby food!”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s favorite board game? “Predator & Seek.”
  • What do you call Arnold Schwarzenegger’s beard? “The Terminator’s Whiskers.”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger quit his job at the sausage factory? He couldn’t make a better “link” than himself!
  • How does Arnold Schwarzenegger pay his bills? With his “Checkculator”!
  • Did you hear about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new movie, “Conan the Accountant”? It’s all about crunching numbers!
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say in math class? “I’ll be back — with the answer!”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger become a hairdresser? He wanted to say, “I’ll be bob”!
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s favorite part of a computer? The “Commandinator” key.
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a lion at the zoo? “You’re lyin’!”
  • Why did Arnold
  • Schwarzenegger become a stand-up comedian? Because he wanted to flex his funny bone!
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his bookshelf collapsed? “I need stronger shelves for my encyclo-pumps!”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger enroll in a cooking class? He wanted to learn how to make “Predator-y soup”!
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he won the marathon? “I’ll be the Run-nator!”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger go to the barber? He wanted to get a buzzcut for “Total Scalpel”!
  • How does Arnold Schwarzenegger prefer his coffee? With a “Terminator-presso” shot!
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his dog chewed up his favorite shoe? “Bad boy! That’s my ‘sole’mate!”
  • Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger become a locksmith? He wanted to “unlock” the secrets of success!
Funny Jokes About Arnold Schwarzenegger

Story Jokes About Arnold Schwarzenegger

  • Once Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he knew how to make an omelette. He replied, “Of course I do! I can break an egg just by looking at it.”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger went to a theater and asked for a ticket to a movie. The cashier said, “Sir, you’ll need to stand up in order to see the screen.” Arnold replied, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back.”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger once entered a bodybuilding competition and won. When asked how he achieved such remarkable results, he replied, “I just took some vitamins and started flexing in front of the mirror. The mirror couldn’t handle it and cracked!”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to go camping in the woods. When he came back, his friend asked, “Arnold, did you run into any wild animals?” Arnold replied, “Yes, I saw a squirrel. I swear it was doing bicep curls with two acorns!”
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger was once asked if he knew any jokes about heavyweights. He replied, “Sure, here’s one: Why did the bodybuilder bring a ladder to the gym? Because he wanted to reach new heights!”

Key Takeaway

In conclusion, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comedic prowess is just as impressive as his action-packed performances. From his hilarious one-liners to his funny jokes and entertaining stories, he never fails to bring laughter to his audience. Schwarzenegger’s ability to combine his muscular strength with comedic timing has made him a legendary figure in both the action and comedy genres. So next time you want a good laugh, remember these 90+ jokes about Arnold Schwarzenegger and indulge in some barrel-chested chuckles. From his iconic catchphrases to his larger-than-life personality, Schwarzenegger’s jokes never fail to entertain.

One-Liners Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes For Instagram

Leave a Comment